The Emoji Movie (2017) Film Review

When The LEGO Movie was first announced all the way back in 2011, there was plenty of criticism to be made of the shallowness of Hollywood and its lack of ideas. "A movie based on LEGO? That can't be good" naysayers would declare, but then something peculiar happened: it actually ended up being good. Great, in fact. So great that people were upset when it wasn't nominated for Best Animated Feature (only securing a Best Original Song nomination) at the subsequent Academy Awards. But with the success of that brand, and in turn its spin-offs, came a new wave of announcements of other seemingly unfilmable productions, ranging from Barbie and Playmobil to Peeps and Emojis. I mention this only because The LEGO Movie was proof that this is a concept that can work with the right talent and ideas because The Emoji Movie - the first of these mimickers – is trying to replicate the aforementioned movie's immense success without a good number of that film's key components. Namely, its quality. 

The overarching story – which steals from not only The LEGO Movie but also other hit animated features Wreck-It Ralph and Inside Out – follows Gene (voiced by T.J. Miller): a 'Meh' emoji who resides in the world of 'Textopolis' within the phone of a pubescent boy (a poorly cast Jake T. Austin) who's currently struggling to think of the right way to ask a girl out to the upcoming dance. This particular day just so happens to be Gene's first day working on the phone, but Gene has a little problem – he has a glitch that allows him to make more than one face. This proves to cause an issue when, after his owner selects him, he makes the wrong face and puts his entire world in danger. Now being hunted by head emoji Smiler (Maya Rudolph) and her brigade of bots, Gene sets out to find a way to the Cloud to try and fix his bug – creating a team with Hi-5 (James Corden), a hand emoji who has grown unpopular, and a hacker nicknamed Jailbreak (Anna Faris) who don’t need no man – passing through a plethora of different apps on their way. But could it be that Gene doesn't need to conform to society's needs to be happy? 

You see what I mean by the abundant stealing of story ideas from other movies? There is very little new going on here, and the sheer blatancy of this factor is just one of this movie's many, many hindrances. The basic outline is definitely a mishmash of those movies intertwined with countless upon countless cameos from apps willing to pay hefty amounts for extended appearances (the whole journey grows dependant on going to the DropBox app because "it's secure" and there's an overlong segment involving the already-outdated Candy Crush Saga), but unfortunately that's not enough for this 80 minute movie. Alongside Gene's quest is owner Alex's own issues in the real world as his phone constantly malfunctions to his embarrassment; there's Smiler's constant worrying while making remarks about how she's always smiling (get it? Because she's the smiling emoji), and Gene's parents (Steven Wright and Jennifer Coolidge) looking for Gene themselves while contemplating getting a divorce, because that's exactly what this movie needed. Wait no, I almost forgot – they include an extended viewing of 'Pen Pineapple Apple Pen', that song that was super popular last year but has vanished from memory, because outdated memes are what this movie strives for. 

In terms of the comedy, there is none. That is to say, there isn’t anything funny outside of the studios managing to give them our money. Sure, there's plenty of those meme shout-outs ("Bye Felicia!" exclaims Corden's oversized appendage) and constant jokes about Sir Patrick Stewart's Poop emoji that range from "We're Number Two!" to a background 'gag' of him punching a fan (get it?), but much of what the film tries to make funny ultimately falls flat on its oversized face. Even the occasional and admittedly clever ideas that may find its way into the script get shoved aside over the ubiquitous need to sell products and make jokes about them. Perhaps the biggest showcase of the film's lack of comedy and overwhelming shallowness comes from an appearance from the 'Just Dance' app, where a large Christina Aguilera becomes enamoured by a new dance Gene makes up called "the Emoji dance", and declares that everyone should do it, with the film reprising that moment ahead of the end credits. It's not funny or inventive, it's embarrassing. 

What makes the whole thing feel all the more disappointing is that there's actual effort put into the animation. Sure, the character designs of all the emojis are ghastly and would be better suited in a Hindenburg than the local multiplex, but at least they move around realistically enough and the graphics are suitable for their environments. Unfortunately the same can't be said for Tony Leondis' combined direction and writing, who brings about such a flat world despite the infinite possibilities of a world inside the phone and would rather hide behind other people's ideas than produce anything new and exciting. Add a constant need to fade between shots that brings to mind fellow animated travesty Foodfight! and large empty spaces in shots, and it just makes the whole thing look bland when there's so much opportunity to be had. 

As far as a lead character goes, Gene is serviceable. There's nothing really special about him outside of his numerous emotions and is less of a hero than a MacGuffin, much like many of the other characters. Miller's voice manages to fill in the blank void well enough that he doesn't sound like he's completely phoning it in. James Corden as the mandatory comedy sidekick also has nothing special going for him to the point that his entire story arc is dropped midway through so that he can continue to make 'jokes', while poor Anna Faris is the biggest letdown of the film. Set up as being this independent woman who's happy the way she is and away from her pre-set destiny, she ultimately (spoiler alert, if you really don't want to be spoiled by a film called The Emoji Movie) gives up that lifestyle in order for Gene to keep being happy and emotive, putting aside her own aspirations for a guy that she doesn't share any chemistry with. So feminist. Meanwhile, Maya Rudolph is as intimidating as a toothpick and just as interesting; Steven Wright has the same level of enthusiasm as Papa Meh as he probably did when he signed on for the project; Jennifer Coolidge sounds like they just slowed down her vocal performance; Patrick Stewart is making us wish X-24 would stab him again like he did in Logan; Aguilera is an obnoxious cameo that comes with two playings of one of her songs (ironically the same one used for The LEGO Movie's marketing); and other appearances like Sofia Vergara and Sean Hayes are there for maybe one line before being discarded faster than this movie in a bargain bin come November.  

The Emoji Movie is pretty much as bad as one would have expected and a clear example of what not to do when you want to repeat an idea that previously gained universal acclaim. With lazy jokes, a cookie-cutter storyline and some somewhat offensive ideas as to what consists of feminism, it's no wonder that this film has gained a whopping 8% on Rotten Tomatoes. But when you're using outdated memes and Facebook jokes to gain a cheap laugh and solely want to promote the apps that pay you enough, it really isn't a surprise that this movie sucks on an astronomical level. Now, if you excuse me I'm going to go back to using emoticons. 1/10.

Cars 3 (2017) Film Review

Within the entirety of Pixar's 30+ years of making films feature-lengthed and short, the most notable black mark that even the most unbeknownst of audiences could comment on is the often-criticised Cars franchise. Despite the 2006 original film clearly coming from a place close to Executive Producer and Toy Story director John Lasseter's heart, and in turn got a moderate amount of praise despite being a drop in quality following the double-whammy that was Finding Nemo and The Incredibles, 2011 sequel Cars 2 was evidently all about the merchandising dough (the brand had earned over $10bn in revenue at that point); throwing out the smaller story about a big-shot finding true happiness and instead having the comic relief go on a worldwide spy adventure with gunfire and explosions. Cars 2 ended up being the studio's first big dud; with no Best Animated Feature Oscar nomination for the first time and a Rotten score on Rotten Tomatoes, the only saving grace came once again through the merchandise sales. And with spin-off franchises such as Planes making their own impact on the brand, and these films essentially pay for Pixar to make riskier productions such as Inside Out and the upcoming Coco. But with this third instalment going back to basics and the marketing going hard on the image of a destructive Lightning McQueen, can this entry save the franchise? 

McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson) is an unstoppable driving machine when it comes to the Piston Cup, winning countless seasons whilst still keeping a fine comradery with his fellow racers. That is until a rookie called Jackson Storm (Armie Hammer) makes a big splash onto the field, using statistics and technology to perfect his performance and in turn shunning his competitors. With many either retiring or being fired in response to the surge in technological advancement, Lightning soon becomes one of the few traditional racers left, and even then he has fewer wins under his hood than ever before. But things truly come to a head when, in a mad dash to catch up with Storm, McQueen loses control and ends up in a similarly severe accident that his former mentor Doc Hudson (Paul Newman, here voiced using unused archive recordings from the first film). With that seemingly being the last straw for the racer's new sponsor (Nathan Fillion), Lightning has only a short period of time to prove to everyone that he's not ready to retire; proving that the classic ways that he and Doc were trained are superior to the simulators and treadmills. With unwanted support coming along for the journey in the form of Cruz Ramirez (Cristela Alonzo), McQueen must prove his worth and come to his own... unless there's another way to find happiness on the race track. 

It's a welcome relief to see the franchise return to a smaller-scaled story following the overly bombastic approach taken last time, and in turn it makes the overarching storyline much more appealing. While it does also mean that there's only really one storyline for the entire 110-minute runtime, which the film struggles to fill up with despite countless high-adrenaline sequences, it's at least a somewhat charming venture which long-time viewers and fans will appreciate all the more. It's very much Lightning's story (the majority of the Radiator Springs cast, including Mater, is pushed aside for this focus), and regardless of what you think of the character you do at least feel for him as he pushes himself to become better than ever before.

As ever with Pixar, the film truly shines when it comes to the beloved animation department, as they once again prove just far they've gone as a studio and surprise you with the level of detail and realism despite being set in a world filled with anthropomorphic cars. From the specks of metal that flies across the race track during McQueen's crash to the woodland environments he trains in, the world he resides in looks incredibly realistic. It's especially noticeable when the film flashes back to scenes from the first instalment and you notice the increased detailing and shine on the characters – it personally makes me wish the studio would go back to the earlier films and remaster them in the same vein as video game companies do with their properties. Add some solid (if a tad unremarkable) direction from newcomer Brian Fee and you have a movie that looks good.

Resuming the lead role once again after being relegated to the sidelines in Cars 2, Owen Wilson delivers a great lead performance as Lightning McQueen, really showing off his dedication to the character and his desires. He can occasionally come across as a little grumpy and intolerant during the film's darker moments (a mandatory moment when he butts heads with Cruz comes to mind), but he hits his strides elsewhere. Cristela Alonzo's Cruz makes for a good foil though, and if future instalments do come out it wouldn't be surprising if she took over the series. She's likeable, dedicated, and likely will come across as a good role model for young female viewers. Armie Hammer, however, has so little an actual presence in the overall story outside of being a target for McQueen to beat – he's practically absent for a solid hour of the movie – that it's difficult to properly hate him. While he takes a lot of influence from former antagonist Chick Hicks (who returns as a TV show host, except jarringly voiced by Bob Peterson instead of Michael Keaton), he doesn't even get a majorly evil moment like Hicks attacking the King. He just makes snarky comments and drives fast. 

Outside of the core cast, Larry the Cable Guy has a smaller presence but works just fine for kids to enjoy him, Bonnie Hunt provides just the right amount of support for her boyfriend, and hearing Paul Newman again nearly a decade after his death makes his appearance all the more endearing. Doc's former mentor appears in the form of a mimicking Chris Cooper, with help from a trio of former racers and makes a fine splash on the series, even if they are just fulfilling Newman's role. Meanwhile, Nathan Fillion is a mixed bag, as he can't decide whether he's friend or foe, and Lea DeLaria is so over the top as a school bus/demolition derby champion (don't ask) that she's only a tad intimidating. 

Cars 3 is the true sequel to Cars, borrowing plenty of elements that made that film good to rectify the errors made in the film's first successor and pumping gas into a franchise that had quickly been left to run on fumes. Whilst the argument can still be made that this didn't need to be a franchise, let alone one that consists of a trilogy, the great animation and partially charming story make the film noteworthy enough that it may end up elevating the franchise and become less of a sour patch for the beloved studio behind them. 6/10.