I'm pretty sure you won't, Mr Grey
This Valentine's Day weekend, it's near-impossible to go about without some form of recognition to Fifty Shades of Grey, the big 'romance' film gracing its presence in whatever screen it's not banned from. Whilst America has a Get Out of Jail Free card thanks to the release of Kingsman: The Secret Service this same weekend, the UK's only other releases involve smaller independent films kicked out the way for many cinema chains to make for Grey (only one cinema within my county is playing Love is Strange), and it doesn't help that the promotional material has gone on a mad frenzy, taking up spaces in bus shelters, YouTube ads and Twitter trends to ensure that everyone knows about the film. But not everybody wants to know about it, and least of all me.
A quick bit of background: Fifty Shades of Grey started life as Twilight fan fiction, which with a few rewrites to avoid being sued by Stephanie Meyer and her publishing company was split into three parts and released in 2011, before spreading like wildfire and its first chapter being a part of numerous households in either paperback or eBook form. The book later overtook sales of the entire Harry Potter series in the UK and began millions of knock-off copies on Amazon's Kindle Bookstore - all of which being at the low low price of free. However, it's should be noted that a majority of critics panned it, and whilst sales were high, there was also a quick rate of charity shop generosity as it was quickly added to every charity shop window, alongside its continuations. But of course, seeing it as easy money Universal and Focus Features bought the rights in early 2012 and writer E.L James was brought along for the ride. Even at an early start, it came across that James wanted to be like her original envisions, with Robert Pattinson being her preferred choice as Christian Grey, but in the end the roles went to Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan (replacing Charlie Hunnam who pulled out later in the running).
By the time adverts started rolling it, it was clear to see that they were relying more on the popularity of the books than the actual content, with the more recent Super Bowl trailer deciding it would be best to shine a light on how many views the trailers got instead of critics were saying. Understandable though, because critics hadn't actually seen it yet, despite the fact that the film was two weeks away from release, although it would get its premiere at the Berlin Film Festival of all places on the 11th February - two days before its release. Even Kim Kardashian managed to get an early viewing. Cut to today, where the film is doing immensely well financially but is getting beaten like a drum in a lesson taught by J.K Simmons in Whiplash by everyone - unless they're a fan of the books - with a 3.7/10 rating on IMDb and sitting at 27% on Rotten Tomatoes. But that isn't stopping sequels coming out, with the first scheduled for 2016.
The reviews and ratings are not what's pushing me away from seeing this theatrically-released porn film - if anything, they're giving me all the more reason to avoid it. It's more the case that it sounds and looks like a terrible movie. I mentioned this back when the first trailer came out during a Trailer Talk entry, in which I said this:
"To start with, the film does look like a generic love film. A bigwig boss falls for a small perky journalist. Add a not-into-romance subplot and lines filled with incredibly high amounts of clichés, and it wouldn't have that much buzz outside of the new rendition of Beyoncé's 'Crazy in Love'. But then come the green-band sex hints at the end, reminding the viewers that this is Fifty Shades of Grey. You know, that book that was popular back in 2012 but quickly left everyone's minds when they realised it was nothing more than fanfiction with different names."
Now that we're actually at the time of its release, it's evident how right I was. The only wrong thing I said was that it wouldn't do well financially - I forgot we live in an age where Transformers: Age of Extinction can be a billion-dollar grossing film. But you see those trailers and you can tell how bad the dialogue is, and in clips such as the one below can tell how uncomfortable these actors are, having been stuck in a film which is literal fan fiction.
But it's not just that, it's also the actual selling point of the film: sex. More specifically, BDSM. I don't have an issue with the actual kink (if that's what you're into, then good for you), but the way that it 's being used in more of a case of having actual control of a person rather than just for sex. That may be a step too far. From what I've read from other critics who have seen it, they've mentioned a scene in which Grey gives out contracts about his and Anastasia's relationship. When she disagrees to the sexual contract, he later breaks into her house and has sex with her. Red flags are now up, flashing bright lights and ringing at 160 decibels as we seem to have a rape in our midst. Not to mention that this sense of domineering is pushed less into what could be conceived as an actual relationship and more of an enforcement of control. It's almost sickening. It also doesn't help that apparently sex scenes with a seductive soundtrack are playing as female lead Johnson is weeping - that doesn't sell sexiness, it sells worry. Worry over the twisted minds who made it.
It's safe to say that I have no plans to see the film, least of all in cinemas. To watch such travesty would be completely against my standards, and to have to pay for it too would be even worse. It's something I plan to avoid with an incredibly long barrier and security guards. There's no doubt that audiences will be curious to see it this weekend, and it will likely be a huge success - over this weekend. Once word of mouth grows and people starting taking their word for it, they'll begin to back away from it. Sure, the sequels are already in pre-production, but with the failure of Fifty Shades of Grey can cause delays and possibly halting altogether. I mean, it worked for Amazing Spider-Man 2.
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